I want you to know that I have great plans for you. When I saw you in my mom's neighbor's trash, it was love at first sight. I'll never forget running down the street to get you as the trash man pulled up to the corner. He starred me down but I grabbed you and ran back to my mom's house. He thought he had you, but don't worry, I held you as tight as possible and I would have never let go. It's okay. You don't have to thank me for saving you from the crushing trash truck. You are not trash. You're unseen art, boo.
The fight isn't over yet though. I promise to protect you from my husband. His heart is hard and he hates when I bring home "trash." I swear to clean you up this weekend so he won't throw you out behind my back. He's known for that.